Honoring the Life and Legacy of
Thomas F. Wolfinger
Obituary
Thomas Floyd Wolfinger, aged 69, passed away on 21 May, 2022, in Fairfax, VA. He was the son of the late Allen E. Wolfinger, Sr. and Patricia Bancroft Wolfinger. He was predeceased by his brother, Allen E. Wolfinger, Jr. He is survived by his sister, Barbara E. Wolfinger and her husband, Stuart Peskoe of North Andover, MA, their children, Sarah Peskoe and her partner, Christopher Pedi, of Durham, NC, and Jacob Peskoe, of Stoneham, MA; his sister-in-law, Janet Wolfinger, of Bridgeport, CT; her sons, Steven Woolf and his wife, Christine, of Boca Raton, FL, and Allen E Wolfinger, III, and his wife, Karen, of Shelton, CT; Steven’s children, Samantha Woolf and Sabrina Woolf; and Allen’s children, Liliane and Alexander Wolfinger.
Though a long-time resident of Centreville, VA, Tom was born in Bridgeport, CT, and attended Central High School. He studied mathematics at the University of Hartford, earning a BS degree, and obtained advanced degrees in Mathematics and Operations Research at Dartmouth College and the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, respectively.
Tom began his career modeling environmental impacts for the EPA at the MITRE Corporation in McLean, VA. As his career progressed, he applied his knowledge to broader environmental impacts, eventually becoming a subject matter expert in chemical/biological warfare and risk assessment for the Defense Threat Reduction Agency, part of the US Department of Defense. In addition, Tom taught evening classes in Operations Research at George Mason University, nearby.
In his spare time, Tom was fascinated with history, especially the Civil War, and was an avid collector of antiques, helping out at a local antique auction house. The son of a champion skeet-shooter and hall-of-famer trap-shooter, Tom shared the sports with his nephew, Jake. In addition, he enjoyed black-powder muskets and other antique firearms. In recent years, Tom did extensive genealogy research, both for family members as well as friends, connecting with second cousins we never knew we had. He was a voracious reader on a wide variety of subjects. His friends and family knew him to be capable of conversing on nearly any topic, but also willing to be educated on something new. Throughout his life, Tom also enjoyed music, playing several instruments, including the clarinet, the penny-whistle, and guitar. Having been introduced to the martial arts in college, he kept in touch with his Fire Dragon family, and returned to Tai Chi in recent years for mental and physical health.
Having no children of his own, Tom was particularly close to his nieces and nephews. He gave freely of his time, guidance, and advice. Tom’s was a kind and especially generous spirit, which will be greatly missed.
Virtual Memorial Service &
Online Reception
Recorded Friday, September 30, 2022
Tom’s family invites you to view the Memorial Service & online reception honoring his life and legacy.
Slideshow
Photo Gallery
In Lieu Of Flowers Please Consider Donating To The Environmental Defense Fund
Tom spent his career becoming a subject matter expert in analyzing the impact of chemicals, diseases, and other phenomenon on the environment. He would be honored to know your donations were helping this vital cause.
Tom and I met over our common interest in Genealogy. I never had the pleasure of meeting him in person, but we made a great collaborative friendship. As it turns out, we are related, Tom’s 3x Grandfather is my 4x Grandfather. Our Ancestral common relative Charles Hasselbrink was born in Central Europe, and was a man with a huge personality, much like Tom. In the 1840’s Charles was Consul of Prussia in Sabanilla (Colombia), was an astronomer and philanthropist in Cuba, and a 3rd degree Mason. Tom’s 2x grandfather Carlos Hasselbrink was the Master violinist at the NY Metropolitan Opera at the turn of the century. Tom shared pictures of our ancestors with me, enlightening many generations of relatives living in many places around the world. Thank you Tom, may you enjoy eternal rest in our creator’s hands and rejoice in the company of many relatives that preceded us.
I just heard of your brother passing and are deeply saddened by your loss. Please accept my condolences, and know that our thoughts are with you during this difficult time.
Carolina — Can you please send me an email? I can’t find our earlier conversation.
To Barbara and family, and friends of Tom, my sincere condolences. Tom was a mentor and friend of mine at SAIC. By fate or design, my office was located next to his when I was first hired. I would frequently wander into his office for a “quick consult” (that meant nothing to Tom) and he ALWAYS made me feel welcome…for over 6 years, he was never too busy or preoccupied to give me his undivided attention. Those conversations often took strange turns, as if I walked out of a different door than I had entered, but I am forever grateful for his willingness to share his knowledge and help me succeed. I watched his memorial service and reception, and was touched to see all the family and friends he spoke of with such great love and affection over the years. Thank you all for sharing the many sides of Tom of which his colleagues only caught a glimpse. Tom, thoughtful and generous as he was, gave me a couple gifts over the years – an old Book of Psalms that he probably bought at one of the used book stores he loved to explore, and a bait casting reel that I recently found when taking my daughters fishing. There are probably countless such stories – acts of kindness, lives touched – that you have never heard. Below are some memories of Tom that I shared with colleagues when we heard of Tom’s passing. Thank you for hosting his tribute and giving us a chance to honor his memory…truly a life well-lived.
“The fruit of a tree shows the care it has had; so too does one’s speech disclose the bent of one’s mind…” I Sirach 27:6
We all spent countless hours talking with Tom and getting to know the bent of his mind – sometimes a welcomed respite, sometimes frustrating, always enlightening.
We knew him later in life, so it might be hard to imagine him in his younger years… as a martial artist, playing racquetball with Art Monk (if I’m remembering correctly), trap shooting…
We knew him more for his generous spirit, freely giving of his time and knowledge (of which I was a frequent beneficiary). But his interests and knowledge extended far beyond work… every conversation had the potential for adventure. We got into a heated argument one day, and I said something that made him so angry that he followed me back to my office to continue the conversation… the next day, it was as if it had never happened.
He was as compassionate as he was passionate…interested in our lives and problems, offering wise counsel when sought, or just sharing from his own wealth of experiences.
I hadn’t spoken with Tom in over a year, and can only imagine the conversations we might have had about current events. Somewhere, to someone, Tom is revealing the bent of his mind, and they are the richer for it.
Thank you very much for writing this. This was clearly SO TOM. We certainly had our share of discussions, heated or otherwise, and I miss them and him so very much.
Sending love to Barbara, Stuart, Sarah and Jake and our condolences for your loss.
My best friend for almost 51 years, Tom you will never be forgotten.
I will always cherish the times I spent with Uncle Tom when he would introduce me to all these different topics and I remember him really caring what I had to say about them, even as a young child. He really fostered a love of learning in me that I still have to this day. I’ll always remember and try to emulate his natural curiosity and critical thinking.
I count myself privileged that Tom served as a mentor for my first “real” job out of grad school. As everyone who has spent time with him can imagine, he spent hours and hours imparting his knowledge. As someone new to the field, this was invaluable to me and his patience seemed near infinite. While the discussions sometimes wandered a bit from their starting points, they always remained interesting and valuable.
I will always have positive and happy memories of Tom! One time I mentioned how I loved music and he gave me several one-of-a-kind CD’s. His generosity inspires me to this day and I will miss him greatly.
I have so many wonderful memories of Tom. He was always kind and interested in what anyone had to say. He was extremely intelligent and caring. I will miss him.
Thank you Barbara for the service,
Christine
Tom, quite simply, was one of the kindest people I have ever known. Always generous of his spirit and time. His family was very important to him. He will be missed.
Tom had an amazing presence, especially because I saw him once a year at Thanksgiving dinner. His dedication to his family and friends was very admirable. He will be greatly missed. Rest in Perfect Peace Tom.
I grew up with Tom and loved him very much. We went to elementary and high school together. My mother and his mother Pat were best friends. I am very sorry that we lost touch as adults. We had hoped to see each other again at our 50th high school reunion, but it was not to be. Much love to the Wolfinger family. Bobbie, thank you for putting together this memorial tribute!
I’ll always remember Tom’s curiosity and knowledge about seemingly any topic you could think of — he was game to talk about pretty much anything. Even though I only saw him once a year at Thanksgiving, I’ll miss him dearly. Love and condolences to the Wolfinger & Peskoe families.
Love,
Ben and Taryn
Tom would stop by the auction house almost every week, and we would have long conversations about history, firearms, and politics. Tom always had a story or anecdote for almost any topic. I will miss him greatly. Please accept my deepest condolences for your family’s loss.
Tom was the ideal godfather–loving, kind and always supportive and encouraging. As I got older, we didn’t get to talk as often as I’d like, life getting in the way, but every time we did, time would fall away and it would be like I just spoke to him yesterday. I’ll miss his warmth and humor which I always felt all the way across the miles.
When I first moved to Hartford, Tom was one of the first friends I made, and that friendship lasted over fifty years, His many attempts to copy my southern drawl was humorous, but he didn’t stop trying no matter how much I made fun of him. He was the kind of friend that would do anything to help you and would give you the shirt off his back. He had a big heart and I’ll miss him very much.
Thank you, “Steve from Oklahoma”. I remember your drawl, too! And Tom would often speak of you.
Tom and I knew each other for over 40 years. Even after he left MITRE and I moved to Pensacola, Florida, when I would come back to Virginia on business, we would see each other. And, it was like all of the years apart just melted away. He loved hearing about my grown kids and my grandsons. He would smile and laugh. Oh, those dimples and that smile!! I’ll miss you, my friend.
Tom and I loved each other – and infuriated each other – for nearly fifty years. We always said someday we’d sit on the balcony and watch the sunset together. Our someday never came. Goodbye, my dear, dear friend.
Classic Tom at his retirement party in 2016.
Oh, that’s great! Thanks for sharing!